Mark W. Lee, CPA
Curriculum Vitae
(truth and lies w/ pictures)
Mr. Lee was born sometime in the late 1950’s aboard a Japanese fishing vessel probably operating illegally in the Gulf of Mexico. The product of the only Anglos billeted on the “Shame of Hirohito” (the cook and security director) he was reared on a diet of Circus Peanuts© and various beverage alcohols.
The young Lee was placed alone in an emergency evacuation pod sometime after his fifth birthday and landed in the small resort town of South Padre Island, Texas. He lived alone there in an unfinished, abandoned high-rise condominium project for many years until its deliberate implosion by Mexican developers in the early 1990’s (developers he would, ironically, work for in subsequent years.) He was not informed of the implosion event and barely escaped alive.
After the loss of his beloved condo, Mr. Lee wandered through the English speaking world in a state of profound ennui. He was able (through sheer pluck and abundance of natural luck, but very little native ability) to become educated in media and business at two state supported universities in Texas. He holds undergraduate degrees in Radio/Television/Film and Accounting but has recently supported himself as an apprentice sorcerer – conjuring sticks being his current area of interest.
Mr. Lee’s daughter (Matty Sloan Lee, RN) lives in Brooklyn, NY and collaborates with him on many of his less dangerous business ventures. She is wanted by authorities in Ireland for having spirited away a rare children’s book from the James Joyce Museum in Dublin. Father and daughter have spent a significant portion of their financial resources fighting this extradition action and the Joyce volume reportedly remains on display in an undisclosed location in the greater New York City area.
(truth and lies w/ pictures)
Mr. Lee was born sometime in the late 1950’s aboard a Japanese fishing vessel probably operating illegally in the Gulf of Mexico. The product of the only Anglos billeted on the “Shame of Hirohito” (the cook and security director) he was reared on a diet of Circus Peanuts© and various beverage alcohols.
The young Lee was placed alone in an emergency evacuation pod sometime after his fifth birthday and landed in the small resort town of South Padre Island, Texas. He lived alone there in an unfinished, abandoned high-rise condominium project for many years until its deliberate implosion by Mexican developers in the early 1990’s (developers he would, ironically, work for in subsequent years.) He was not informed of the implosion event and barely escaped alive.
After the loss of his beloved condo, Mr. Lee wandered through the English speaking world in a state of profound ennui. He was able (through sheer pluck and abundance of natural luck, but very little native ability) to become educated in media and business at two state supported universities in Texas. He holds undergraduate degrees in Radio/Television/Film and Accounting but has recently supported himself as an apprentice sorcerer – conjuring sticks being his current area of interest.
Mr. Lee’s daughter (Matty Sloan Lee, RN) lives in Brooklyn, NY and collaborates with him on many of his less dangerous business ventures. She is wanted by authorities in Ireland for having spirited away a rare children’s book from the James Joyce Museum in Dublin. Father and daughter have spent a significant portion of their financial resources fighting this extradition action and the Joyce volume reportedly remains on display in an undisclosed location in the greater New York City area.
In late 2009, after exposing several of his business partners as frauds in a local scandal involving overbilling which received significant coverage in the Houston press, Mr. Lee was paid a significant sum of money and constrained from further practice of public accountancy in the United States by an unusually stringent non- competition/non-disparagement agreement entered into with Sirius Solutions, LLP (www.sirsol.com).
Unable to practice his accustomed mode of piracy (viz. technical accounting and litigation consulting) he divides his time between New York City and a small co-op apartment on Olympus Mons where he studies the effects of lessened gravity. His recent publication “Magical Properties of Milk Glutens in Artificially Induced Micro- gravity Environments” (Nature, February 2010) was greeted with protracted yawns by the physics community. Noted nanotechnology researcher Robert Curl, Pitzer- Schlumberger Professor of Natural Sciences at Rice University, remarked that Lee “[manages] to publish in peer reviewed journals without so much as a PhD – I can only attribute this to his rumored use of black magic.” Lee has claimed, without providing any evidence, that Curl’s nanotechnology breakthroughs resulted largely from a series of conversations the two had at the student bar “Valhalla” in the late 80’s. Curl admits to knowing Lee but brands such claims “the musings of an untreated drug addict.”
Lee has never forcefully responded to the drug use claims but has stated in an interview that he has “never, not once, resorted to black magic to get things published – at most, orange magic.” (Wired magazine, September, 2002)
Mark Lee is frequently (and, say most observers, completely unaccountably) the subject of media interest in the alternative press. He is rarely photographed except in elaborately staged ‘snopshats’ which accompany his scientific publications. The photo below was taken by the son of infamous paparazzo Ron Galella in a church in Paris (reportedly Notre Dame). In his last known public appearance, Mr. Lee is seen fleeing in horror after becoming aware of an elaborate practical joke played on him by his daughter involving an actual Roman Catholic confirmation ceremony in which he narrowly escaped becoming a member of what he describes as “[that] fucking pagan religion run by Nazi, dick sucking potentate Jo-Jo Ratzinger” (see Interview magazine, December 2008)
Recent unconfirmed reports that Lee is selling decorative, high quality magic wands in New York City remain largely unsubstantiated. This Village Voice photo lends some credence to those rumors but the subject has been identified only as an overweight (and possibly overwrought) tourist – Lee is nowhere in sight. Anonymous sources (most of whom are alcoholics) claiming to be associates of Mr. Lee say he is selling the wands, but demanding such high prices for them that business is bad. Speculation is that he has taken up with a young Asian pornographer and is planning his next monetization event.
For more information, contact the Sabine Pass, Texas police department.
© 2010, Clubnano Publishing Ventures, Ltd. Unauthorized duplication except for use of short excerpts for literary reviews can result in fines, imprisonment, death, shortness of pants, delayed sexual development and, ultimately juvenile dementia – even if you’re not an actual juvenile, but just frequently act like one.