Tender Offer

Queen Margethe II of Denmark enjoying a slice of bacon

Donald Trump on a good hair day

Let's Make a Deal,

Asshole

Copenhagen  -  The snickers and sighs of relief are a dull background noise as Copenhageners conclude their wry, understated reaction to the whole Trump visit covfefe. To the extent that the reaction here was anything more than a sort of existential amusement, the most common reaction was the common reaction people have to Trump. Offense. 

The Danes are not anyone you want to seriously piss off. Denmark is where the Vikings set up shop when they had killed a sufficient number of the locals to have some space.  Your typical Danish politician is anywhere from 3 to 17 times smarter than Donald Trump.

Here's what's in the works.  

After finishing off her morning bacon and giving thanks to Odin that Trump had cancelled his visit, the Queen instructed the Viking spawn which the ruling party keeps in a dungeon for just such occasions to figure out some way to (as her majesty put it) "Stick a red hot poker up Trump's dumb ass."

One idea insiders have discussed on background is what the Danes (87% native born white people) are calling a "racist sentiment arbitrage" strategy.

The Crown is said to be structuring a deal which swaps Hawaii (which contains 1.2 million brown, yellow, red, and black people, or 90% of the population) for Greenland (population 60,000 - 59,000 of whom are white). The outlines of the deal strategy are said to rest on Denmark's prediction that Trump will find the offer attractive enough to restart talks. (Few know that the whole "Trump wants to buy Greenland" thing was actually Denmark's idea.) It is believed that if Trump is given the opportunity to get rid of over a million minorities (many of whom are on welfare) in return for a small town's worth of Aryans he will simply be unable to pass it up.

A source familiar with the details of the proposed deal said "Although the Crown has an interest in Greenland's mineral resources and fisheries, just about everyone agrees that Greenland is a melting popsicle of problems sitting on an ocean of oil that will be useless in about 20 years. Whereas Hawaii will go on printing money for centuries."

Sounds like the typical Trump deal.

It's an art.

I'm almost tired of winning.  Just one more victory and I'll be speaking Danish.


Then we can stop.

825,000 Sq Mi  - fewer than 1,000 people of color

Well over a million people of color, less than 10,000 Sq Mi

Mark W. Lee
  - Wailuku