It's Hard Being Mini-Me
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| Word of the day: Infanticide |
It won't be long now kiddies. Just keep chillin', hold on to your genitals, and wait for it to end.
In the meantime - a little comedic hold music:
SET UP: "So... a retarded kid, his younger brother-in-law, and a much older uncle who clearly ought to know better - and does but basically has no soul or ethics - walk into a meeting..."
In the meantime - a little comedic hold music:
SET UP: "So... a retarded kid, his younger brother-in-law, and a much older uncle who clearly ought to know better - and does but basically has no soul or ethics - walk into a meeting..."
JOKE BODY: To come. Adapted from audio tapes currently being edited for maximum comedic effect by those little liberal, pricky, Ivy League interns working 24 hours a day at the Paper of Record with no other goal than dismantling the dawning Mafia State.
PUNCH LINE (alternative one): "I LOVE IT!"
PUNCH LINE (alternative two): Donald J. Trump, Jr. (proper noun - en toto)
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How Many Books In The Bible? No, Really, How Many?
Once, when asked by an interviewer after having professed to have been reading the bible, what was her favorite Book, Paris Hilton replied: "All of them!"
When asked the same question Trump said "That part where the father almost kills his son in order to get his new real estate project green lighted. AND THEN... he finds out it won't be necessary after all. I love happy endings!"
Me too Mien Fuhrer!
(One of the anecdotes above is true.)
Once, when asked by an interviewer after having professed to have been reading the bible, what was her favorite Book, Paris Hilton replied: "All of them!"
When asked the same question Trump said "That part where the father almost kills his son in order to get his new real estate project green lighted. AND THEN... he finds out it won't be necessary after all. I love happy endings!"
Me too Mien Fuhrer!
(One of the anecdotes above is true.)
* * *
Even though Team Trump (think of them as the Sixth New York Family) seems to have secured temporary control of the Commission, it may be that the Statue of Liberty, Uncle Sam and Some Really Scary Types From The Intelligence Community are, even now, rolling up 3rd Ave. towards Spark's Steakhouse to punch a few buttons during that big, delicious, final piece of chocolate cake.
Speaking of creamy deliciousness: The irony of the Party of Cheney tying itself in knots defending the propriety of involving Russian government operatives in a national GOP campaign... is... I mean, really... it's so much more than I would have ever asked for. Think Sean Hannity discovering Obama had been caught w/ a White Woman and a Koran in the Oval Room.
Where do you suppose the Times might have gotten those emails? You think guys like Podesta and Robby Mook are ... what? Like a couple of night watchmen? Just because they want to give health insurance to the Darkies? Just because they don't use profanity in their public communications?
You think there might be some guy at the NSA with access to every pixel of every screen shot of every moment of every computer connected to the Trump campaign - as well as archival copies of the local and network hard drives? You think maybe Podesta and Mook might have found this little fella, wound him up, and pointed him at one of their pals over at the Failing New York Times?
I double over with laughter every time some self proclaimed zeitgeist hall monitor like Bill Maher bemoans the fact that Democrats don't play dirty enough. Actually (and this may become obvious once the red mist starts forming over the District) Chuck Schumer is every bit as capable of castrating some anonymous innocent nine year old US citizen as Mitch "Call me Turtle Soup" McConnell.
Don't ever doubt it.
Those pussy Democrats (unlike their pussy grabbing counterparts the Republicans) aren't always more civil and less pointlessly vicious than the competition. They don't lack the ability. They just know this behavior doesn't (as we will shortly see) usually work very well over the long run. Anyone who forgets that should be sentenced to a repeat of Kindergarten. Unfortunately - if you fail to learn this sort of thing in early childhood, it can be hard to get it later on.
As well, generally most Democrats will be quick to (correctly) point out, using your brains has always been a more effective strategy than using your big fucking mouth.
Or your Twitter Account. From an unsecured I Phone. In your bathroom at the White House. At 3:40am.
Covfefe.
Don't ever doubt it.
Those pussy Democrats (unlike their pussy grabbing counterparts the Republicans) aren't always more civil and less pointlessly vicious than the competition. They don't lack the ability. They just know this behavior doesn't (as we will shortly see) usually work very well over the long run. Anyone who forgets that should be sentenced to a repeat of Kindergarten. Unfortunately - if you fail to learn this sort of thing in early childhood, it can be hard to get it later on.
As well, generally most Democrats will be quick to (correctly) point out, using your brains has always been a more effective strategy than using your big fucking mouth.
Or your Twitter Account. From an unsecured I Phone. In your bathroom at the White House. At 3:40am.
Covfefe.
Trump is an idiot. His idiot son Don will soon be staring at the oil pan of the M-60 bus as it drags him, Manafort and all the rest of Trump's cast-offs around town. You gotta think that the horrible sound made when young Jarred gets rolled over by the big city bus might be particularly disturbing... particularly to his wife. Maybe not.
And since most of the people surrounding Trump are idiots, none of them stopped him from careening around in a billion dollar orange zoot suit for two years yelling into a megaphone about how stupid, incompetent and useless the US intelligence community is. No one stopped him from waddling over to Langley with a peanut gallery in tow and desecrating the memory of dead Spooks . . . No one told him ... much of anything it would seem. Except "Yes sir."
And since most of the people surrounding Trump are idiots, none of them stopped him from careening around in a billion dollar orange zoot suit for two years yelling into a megaphone about how stupid, incompetent and useless the US intelligence community is. No one stopped him from waddling over to Langley with a peanut gallery in tow and desecrating the memory of dead Spooks . . . No one told him ... much of anything it would seem. Except "Yes sir."
The reason there are so many 'leaks' in the Trump Land is that no one respects anyone else, and they are all scared to death of falling out of favor with Caesar.
In other words, the current administration is a wasteland of talentless, frightened children. Being led by a world class boob. That's a strong charge. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence: Take a close look at the first 175 days of this abortion. If that doesn't convince you that this needs to come to a close - then Trump was right. He will be able to shoot someone in the middle of 5th Ave and get away with it. Let's get this thing handled before he starts doing that, shall we?
#resist
In other words, the current administration is a wasteland of talentless, frightened children. Being led by a world class boob. That's a strong charge. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence: Take a close look at the first 175 days of this abortion. If that doesn't convince you that this needs to come to a close - then Trump was right. He will be able to shoot someone in the middle of 5th Ave and get away with it. Let's get this thing handled before he starts doing that, shall we?
#resist