Inimicorum Regis

You can't un-click this . . .

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumber,  Inc.

My adopted home state remains an enemy of the King.  Our sage Federal Judges continue to remind that the US is run by a Constitution not a Limited Partnership Agreement. Unlike the bondholders Trump's been stealing from for years, these business partners (viz. me & you; let that one sink in...) have votes. Nonetheless a majority of holders of US Government Common were outmaneuvered (yet again) at last year's Annual Meeting.

'Voting' shares went 48% to 46% in favor of sending Trump to a locked Memory Care Unit in Palm Beach.  It didn't go down that way. Instead of a Haloperidol drip at a 24 hour psychiatric nursing facility, he was provided with the US strategic nuclear launch codes. The little guys got screwed again by the same crowd that will ultimately screw this barking pumpkin of a President twenty minutes after his poll numbers drop below 30%: The Republican Party.

For reasons which can't even escape Trump, the commentariat is having a field-day with Watergate comparisons. You could argue (unsuccessfully) that the current gang of third-rate burglars in the West Wing are smarter than Haldeman and Erlichman.  But it would be difficult to defend any notion that Trump is as tricky as Resigning Dick, as he might have re-nicknamed his predecessor.

And if you're under 30 and wondering what became of Resigning Dick, the name pretty much says it all. But before he got around to resigning Nixon wandered the halls of the White House at night crying drunk and having conversations with his predecessors - none of whom were actually present. So it's not like we've never survived a crazy person's tenure in the Oval Room. Nonetheless I don't recall President Nixon (drunk or sober) ever threatening to rain fire and fury on any particular country.

Now I know what you're thinking, but those activities in Southeast Asia were not exactly a threat. And jellied gasoline is not exactly cobalt-salted plutonium.

After making statements congruent with the frequently advanced theory that he is a madman, Trump hands responsibility for his latest dumpster fire over to the civil engineer running the State Department. When faced with the job of walking back his boss's casual threat to end planetary life as we know it... Wichita Falls native Rex Tillerson stood in front of an astonished press gaggle on his State Department plane and reeled this one off:

"Ya'll sleep good tonight now, ya hear?!"

This freshly minted statesman (who is equal parts Jed Clampett and Keyser Söze) was running Exxon Mobil nine months ago. The bulk of his foreign policy expertise results from extensive experience in avoiding indictments under the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act. Nothing says Diplomat like a history of paying massive bribes in places like Nigeria, Indonesia and...  Russia. Under his watch Exxon contractors very likely committed murder in the furtherance of corporate goals.

This doesn't usually come up - but when a black-eyed newbie politician with $400 million in his checking account and murdering goons in his employ grins at you from TV screen and wishes you a good night's sleep - consider staying awake and keeping an eye on things.

The other day my kid calls up and says "Are we actually in any danger from this latest round of domestic terror emanating from the White House?"  Back when the African-American Muslim guy was running the Corporation she used to call me with questions like "Will you ship my bedroom furniture to me?"

Ivanka called up her daddy recently too. At the urging of Jared, she asked the President to quit making remarks about her in public which give people the impression that he has at least considered adding incest to the long list of laws he has (so far) successfully violated.

I vow that the People of The Sovereign Kingdom of Hawai'i (though I haven't spoken to many of them about it yet) will resist until every last one of us have been incinerated. Or until the Congress, the the Cabinet, or (improbably) The People decide to do their job and put this crazy motherfucker in a cage. Trump's Chumps think his preening, psychotic behavior on the world stage is wily. It is actually more Wile. E.

As in coyote.

Speaking of all-bark-and-no-bite types who should not be allowed to possess dynamite, Trump carries around a butler's bell that can summon around  200 billion pounds of the stuff. Although I imagine he might think of it more as 200 billion dollars in cash he never has to pay back.

I'm fairly certain (though I do keep a friend on speed-dial who has a gassed up jet at OGG) there is little threat of our actually being reduced to cinders in the immediate future here in Paradise. The fact that it's even entering my mind, when you think of why it's entering my mind, is pissing me off.

The fearless people of Hawai'i are bracing to absorb the fire and fury of yet another witless world leader in the sway of military generals and provocateurs. This time it's not Hirohito. It's not even Li'l Kim. It's you know who with the short fingers and the short fuse and the short...

To those wise residents who were living here back in 1959 sternly warning against marrying into this family (and advised instead to just continuing to work for them): You were right.