Pence Now !
What Mike Pence & I Have in Common
Back in the mid 80's my family's 15 Minutes was had in the form of a fairly scandalous expose about a nasty commercial dispute we were having with another family. If you were to make the decision to sacrifice an hour of your life you'd never be allowed to recover, you'd most likely find this 30 year old magazine article convoluted and though occasionally amusing, probably stultifying you didn't know all the players.
There was a description of me in the story which went: "[Mark's father] Jimmy would begin a letter, 'Dear Egg Sucking Scum' and Mark would cross it out and write, 'Gentlemen'. He was like one of those guys who follow Reagan around saying, "What he meant to say was . . ."
So about the 31st time I saw the Veep doing the old gig I had back in my 20's - I sort of began to feel an affinity with him. Us both being on the clean-up crew for an organization headed by a crazy-man and all. Which is convenient, because it's nice to feel close to your leader; to believe you have things in common which bond you to the man and your shared homeland. And make no mistake, our current New Boss who is not the same as the Old Boss will soon be replaced by another New Boss who will be more like the Old Boss (not the immediately preceding Old Boss - but all the other Old Bosses)
Get ready for it.
I saw my first 'Pence Now!' tee-shirt the other day. When I pulled it off the silkscreen I had just cut for it. Movement anyone? Come on guys - compared to Paul Wall (my favorite Trump hip-hop insider's sobriquet) the alter-boy Veep is a regular Mother Teresa.
And speaking of catholics:
Mr. Pence and I were also both Catholic. And alter boys.
Whereas I eventually abandoned the faith and have since evolved my thinking Pence remains as close to Jesus as I am to the Twin Peaks Showtime reboot. And whereas the Veep believes that avoiding dining alone with a woman not your wife is an integral part of a program to achieve eternal life (presumably spent posted up at a suite in the Peninsula doing things other than dining with women who are other than your wife) my current understanding is that when I die my soul will most likely go immediately to that giant battery plant Elon Musk is building in the desert - and end up as electrons powering a cell phone somewhere in Russia being used to summon hookers for some future POTUS.
(People can get a little silly when spinning up fresh theologies. See for example: all the rest of them.)
Washington has sort of always felt like a television show - even back in the early Teens before, you know, it actually became a television show. Generally, when you see things going on in D.C. with politicians, you feel pretty removed from the action. And believe me - you are. Let's face it, most of us haven't been to the Dorothy Chandler Pavillion on Oscar night - we've also never gotten a brief-case full of cash at lunch, had sex in the limo with an intern on the way to the State Department to tell some General you're going to give him $65 quintillion dollars to build a spaceship - and then went home to watch yourself on the evening news looking like the perfect cross between Disraeli and Godzilla.
As F. Scott might have said: National politicians are different than you and me. (They have more gall.)
(To be continued. Next up: Why telling lies for a crazy, powerful person is a great path to becoming powerful - and crazy - yourself)